something funny i hope oh geez my favourite funny guy posted

today I had the desire to look back at an event, something that bothers me today as well. an acquaintance, whom I would be proud to call a friend if i could, and the impression i set on him and how i let him down. this person is an excellent writer, a well traveled man, an obscenely intelligent person, and seems like one of the most interesting people i’ve ever had the chance of meeting. 

His unique takes, and his sense of humour made me like him back in 2017 and he’s partly the reason I got into MUNs. When i met him at my school, I instantly gravitated towards him, and for a strange reason he didn’t seem to look down on me, and treated me with a kind of acknowledgment that one does to their peers. 

At this point in my life, it was common occurrence for me to be spoken down to, I think as much as I like to blame my parents for not caring about my education, I think I went out of my way to show other people that I didn’t care about education. This likely arises out of how other people would definitely look at my low scores and subjects and make jokes about it all the time, and the only way I could subvert these criticisms, was to say I don’t care about these things, can the person opposite me say the same? And truth be told, to a considerable extent, I didn’t care about them, because i didn’t believe i would ever live to survive beyond a certain point. 

anyway, his treatment of me made me feel validated, smart even. I believe something he suggested to me is still one of my most favourite pieces of media, and something that made want to become a journalist myself. Early 10s vice. Shane Smith’s series on him going to russia to find north korean labour camps is something that I go back to very often. I could keep a conversation with him and my dark sense of humour definitely kept him engaged.

Unfortunately, I was to let him down too. Isn’t it funny, I find ways to let people down even when they’re expecting nothing or the bare minimum of me. I went to one of the MUNs at DAIS (His school) and the chair of the committee was his friend. I was doing fine, generally better than I would perform at that point in my life, and after the MUN got over,  he later came up to me and asked me “what happened man, the chair said you didn’t do well” or something along those lines, but he definitely said “what happened”, in that moment, I saw that familiar look in his eyes for the first time. he pitied me. it still repeats in my head his face, his blue suit, his walking away after he just said that, every thing is there.