yo bro stfu

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my future, and what the future entails for me. I’d like to believe that I have a bright future ahead of me, trust me I really would, but how is one supposed to today? In the world that we live in, how does one not sell their soul and still be successful? How do you even begin to generate subsistence level of income from scratch? How am I expected to provide for myself when I can barely even take care of myself? There’re a lot of things I could do, as much as I enjoy writing at times, I recognise it’s not particularly something that I can do consistently, and even if I write often, there’s no guarantee that anyone would even read it. 

There are very few of you that would open this website and read what I have to say. It’s natural, and I don’t blame you. I also understand that there is a frustrating feeling of realising that nobody is reading your writing, especially if you’re writing seriously (not me). We also live in a very frustrating world, it’s often that you must throw away your dreams, your aspirations in life to just provide for yourself until you’re so jaded that you can’t even remotely remember your dreams. I don’t particularly have an inheritance coming to me, and I know that there is a point in the future that I’ll have to provide for myself. This seems like an insane task. It’s also insane how those that uphold the status quo criticise Gen-Z for not partaking in things like buying a house and buying cars and getting their license, when they’ve made conditions for the youth to not be able to even get subsistence level income. Our world seems to be falling apart in front of our eyes, it’s enraging, and I blame no one but those that came before us. 

What a cruel world we inherit. One where the generations before keep wrecking every part of it with no remorse but blame us for their misdeeds. 

“This generation spends too much time on their devices” You are the ones made industries that are optimally designed to make you spend hours on consumption. You fucked up the world, and expect us to fix it, and when we take a stance and try to do something all you say is that “these kids know nothing.”

Maybe we do know nothing, but trust that when we’re put into your shoes, our commitment and desire to change things will be much larger than yours. 

You will rot, rot in the nursing homes your children put you in because you never bothered to learn to be a better parent, or if you never bothered to have children, you will rot alone nonetheless, forgotten like whisper in a storm. 

You stole the future from our hands, you stole your progeny’s potential, and we’re forced to look at the tattered and torn “gift” you give us and expect us to say thank you? No, no more. 

No more do we tolerate your curse. No more do we sit and look at your decisions irrevocably hurting our inheritance. No more shall we be the ones that’s exploited for the capital gains of those that disparage us.

We stand against your injustice, we stand against your dismissal of rights, we stand against your world of greed, we stand against your history of terror, we stand against you. 

The thing about generations is that they inevitably, reluctantly die, and we’re no different, but trust when we say, those that succeed us will never curse us this way. 

Maybe I have some unresolved issues with the generation before, but this kind of verbalises my internal disdain for them, i know it sounds like a fucking call to action but it’s just the rage and frustration. These conditions also make me feel helpless in controlling my future and I don’t think that’s something uncommon. It feels like your life is already dictated by the conditions that are out of your control and this determinist realisation doesn’t seem to go away. I probably think about things like this too much and I should ideally try finding something to do something that I can throw myself into and make money out of it, something like working. 

 This idea of getting into work and throwing yourself into it until you can do something feels like a bold faced lie at times. This lie that if you stop spending money on Starbucks you’ll have enough to invest into the stock market and generate wealth from that. For every sound financial advice, there’s a hundred podcast bros that are spouting the same nonsense in a huge circle jerk. Even the productivity channels, “Get your flow growth state mindset with timeboxing your T shaped Leader type personality!” What a sick fucking joke.  I don’t think I was ever designed for this sphere, this incessant fetish of flow states and growth mindsets.  

This is something that’s been in me from a young age, I knew I never wanted to work in an office, and I refuse to ever get into one. I refuse to let myself lose the crux of who I am just because I want comfort in life. I refuse to become subservient to someone and lose my dignity. I refuse to become just another keg in the machine satisficing until the company either goes bankrupt or kicks me onto the streets. I refuse to be alienated.

I don’t know how much of this I can take, how much I’m supposed to tolerate all of this until I blow my fucking brains out, or that they have to put me down for my own good. I don’t want to become some sort of a content machine, where I churn out content because I need to make money, I want to say something meaningful. I want to create something that resonates with someone and genuinely makes a difference in their life.

 I want to leave my mark on this world even if I am to be inevitably forgotten.